Week 20 – Planning, prioritising & puppies…

There is nothing like having a puppy to hone the lessons of the Master Key Experience… particularly time management. Since our beautiful little puppy arrived I suddenly have much less time… she has forced me to get really clear and honest… about my time management… planning… prioritising… sticking to the plan… reflecting on all of this… hmmm…

Although it is something I have got much better with over the last few years…  I procrastinate much less… I’m less prone to waste time on “time vampires” like television, Facebook etc. However, I realised my teenager is much better at planning their time than me… as a result of increasing high school demands and deadlines… and has certainly inspired me…

So finally I am getting really conscious of how I use my time… what I say yes and no to… whether I am doing something because I really want and need to do it… or am I primarily doing it to please someone else… or am I just distracting myself away from the essentials. I’m taking the time to plan my week, my day… following my plan… radical… 🙂

The other gift from our cute little bundle of destruction aka puppy… is being constantly pulled away from doing something… then trying to get back on track again…. which certainly impacts time management a lot. I could hear the tearing sound of her little pincer teeth having pierced the plastic underlay of her pen and pulling it all up… everything stops whilst we get her out of the pen… pull it all up… find something stronger… what was I doing again before all that happened?

Each week that goes by… life calms down a notch… long ago I stopped trying to control the uncontrollable… so that’s a blessing… I don’t wear myself out with that particular futile task captured by the Serenity Prayer…

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

I know in the past I wasted a lot of time and energy on things out of my control and then didn’t put time and energy in to things that I could do something about… we are strange creatures at times…

Each step is getting easier… moving forward… the journey continues…

Advertisements

Week 19 – Where did it all go?

 

As I observe myself more and more… I become more aware of parts of my old blueprint that I’ve known about for a while and have made some progress with… however if I’m honest with myself… they are still impacting on my life in substantial ways…

The precious resources of our life are time, energy and money… how we obtain our inflow for these resources, how we hold on to these resources and how we spend these resources… will show itself in the life we have created for ourselves…

For much of my life… with all three of these resources… I did not have a sustainable inflow, contain or hold on to them in a healthy or mindful way, not knowing how much I “had in the bank”… and frittered them away unconsciously… not fully aware or caring where “I spent” them…… the result… depletion and not “value for money” in all three of these resources in my life… and often not much to show for them either…

So fast forward to now… I am definitely much better in many ways… more mindful about them and their use… thanks in big part to the Master Key Experience. However, I am only now really starting to fully get a handle on it… and realising that part of my old blueprint is about… confusion… lack of awareness about what I have… and how I use these resources in a focused or scattered way…

Phew but that’s finally changing… thank goodness… I’m ready to let it go… get out of my own way… and that question that I constantly ask has helped me reach this point “What am I pretending not to know?”… until next time…

Week 18 – “Click your heels together three times…”

A big part of the Master Key Experience is inviting every member to take part in their own Hero’s Journey… finding their unique talents… gaining the confidence and impetus to leave “lives of quiet desperation”… and live life on their terms… “with purpose and on purpose”. The result… being really present to the miracle of life… living a fulfilling life of meaning, kindness and joy.

However, it often takes something big to wake us up… until then we keep busy, distracted, entertained, numbed out… easy to do in this age of the internet and hand held devices… and access to substances that can quickly and easily numb out those disquieting feelings. We kind of know we’re not happy… but can’t pinpoint it… so we do harder what we think works… keep ourselves busier, more sedated, more distracted, more entertained… until…

The cyclone hits… which completely turns our world upside down… everything we thought was guaranteed in our life… may not be there anymore… it’s scary, uncomfortable and we just want it to be over…

However, looking back I am so grateful for my “wake up call”… it forced me to stop living my life unconsciously and really start to look at my “world within”… and my life as a whole. Finally I allowed some space, time and stillness… for myself…

I have come a long way on my Hero’s Journey… however I am realising in a lot of ways I’m still coming out of the Abyss where the major transformation happens. I have discovered that the letting go of the old blueprint… which has directed my life for so long… insidiously without my awareness… takes time and consistent effort to really let it go…

In my last blog I shared how the Wizard of Oz has really resonated with me recently as one example of the myth of the Hero’s Journey. In this much loved tale… Dorothy’s farmhouse with her in it… is ripped up out of Kansas by a cyclone… dumped in the land of Oz… crushing to death the Wicked Witch of the East as it lands.  The witch’s body withers and disappears… all that is left of the witch… are her magical shoes which transpose on to Dorothy’s feet.

Like our own Hero’s Journey we go through the cyclone, the abyss, the wilderness, some major life transformation, whatever it may be… and in the process… something gets crushed to death… has to die in fact… before we can move forward… and in that process… we also get given… or more accurately rediscover something magical… that will help us move forward on our journey… awareness, courage, strength, connection to something bigger than ourself… and our true shining self…

The real Hero’s Journey is the journey within… to find… like Dorothy at the end of The Wizard of Oz… that the whole time she was in Oz… she had the means to go back to Kansas but she didn’t know… the magical shoes… all she had to do was…

“Click your heels together three times and say ‘There’s no place like home‘ and you’ll be there.”

Similarly, we have had the means within us our whole life… to live an amazing life… filled with love, joy and depth… we just didn’t know it was there… but that’s changing… how exciting… wishing you all a wondrous Hero’s Journey…

Week 17 HJ – Searching for Oz…

Although I live in Australia that’s not the Oz I’m talking about in my blog title…

The last few weeks I’ve felt like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz… whisked up in a cyclone… hurled around… not knowing what way was up or down… exhausted… confused… and then… dropped in to a new land…

The much loved tale of the Wizard of Oz is an example of the myth of The Hero’s journey as studied by Joseph Campbell. It has really resonated with me recently. Moving house and then straight in to a new puppy has been chaotic. We arrived at the new house and couldn’t use the garden because I found bits of wood with rusty nails poking out, pieces of glass and other rubble under the grass. There was no way we could let a new puppy out on that. Also things needed to be done at the new place so we had weeks of different tradesmen coming and going… not feeling settled in our new home… and trying to figure out how to take care of and train a new puppy.

We’ve never owned a dog before. It reminds a bit of the first few weeks of having a baby where you get all this conflicting advice on what to do… and you get so confused… and nothing seems to be working…

At the same time I have had a run of friends who seemed to be persistently wanting something of me… time and energy I did not have to give. I was struggling to keep going myself, be a good Mum, get to work and make sure our little furry bundle of love was going to be ok as we started to leave her more… to go back to our normal lives. We had managed to have ten days with her at the end of the school holidays to get her settled in…

I finally feel like “I’ve arrived”… phew and although it has been hard these last few weeks there have been so many gifts too… which I will detail in later blogs as I’m writing a few in short succession to catch up…

I think the biggest thing I have taken away from this recent experience is how much stronger I am now… although I was exhausted I didn’t collapse in overwhelm as I might have in the past. I knew what had to be done each day… so I put one foot in front of the other… did the stuff that needed to be done… then rested when I could. I knew if I did this things would slowly get easier and they have. I’m getting my energy back and feel renewed and excited about the future… more in later blogs coming soon…

Week 17 – Tick tick tick…

More than anything this Master Key Experience has made me so much more aware of how precious my time is and more conscious of how I spend it… or squander it… I can’t save it and carry it over to the next day. The choices I make each day determine how I spend my time each day… but until recently those were not conscious choices…

We all have the same time available to us each day… 24 hours or 1,440 minutes or 86,400 seconds. For years I habitually went about my day… getting off to work… school pick up… cook dinner… relax for a bit… go to bed… then start the whole routine again tomorrow… never thinking about where it was all going… my precious time…

Stuff just needed to be done and before I knew it another week… another month… another year went by…

In parallel with this was the notion of safety and wanting to stay comfortable…

But then at some point in our adult life… something happens that stops us in our tracks…  a death, a divorce, a serious health condition… and suddenly most of what we have been filling our life up with seems very unimportant… and what really matters comes in to clear focus…

If only we could hang on to that clarity… but what often happens is… life carries on and we slip back in to the hustle and bustle of making a living… looking after our family…

But this is all we’ve got… if I live to ripe old age of 90 which I’m planning… I only have 39 summers left. I’ve had some great experiences in my life but I know that I have not fulfilled anywhere near my full potential… so I need to get cracking…

I’ve come such a long way with this course but this week realised how much some old blueprint habits are still holding me back… insight is the first step to change… so onward…

 

 

Week 16 – Out of control…

Still going… just. I keep planning to catch up but it has been so chaotic moving house and then straight in to a new puppy. We’re getting there… we are gradually finding a new routine and learning what our little bundle of cuteness and mischievousness needs to be happy and healthy…

It feels a bit like when you arrive home with a new baby but not quite so extreme… where you have to let go of the idea of getting things done and try to let go of controlling things which are just out of your control.

At the same time… none of that matters… I’m calmer and happier… and experience so many kindnesses from folks. My life has really turned around in so many ways… so different to a few years ago. I do appreciate each day far more… and try not to take anything for granted. I get so much more pleasure from simple things…

I don’t have that desperate need for life to look good on the outside… it feels good on the inside… and that’s all that matters. I’m far less self conscious than I used to be… and will be more open and honest with my words…

So I wonder what lies ahead this year once I’m fully grounded in the new place? What adventures lie in store? I feel I am approaching a new chapter in my life as my family grows up… onward…

Week 15 – Peace after the storm…

This week has been so turmultuous… old themes coming up with greater emotional intensity. “I thought that was dealt with”… apparently not… but I move through things much quicker these days and can see my part in it much clearer.

I have felt a level of exhaustion this week that I haven’t felt in a long time. I knew moving house and straight in to a new puppy was going to be tiring but it’s the emotional stuff attached to those things that seems to takes its toll. I’m coming out the other side now and enjoying the new directions my life is taking me…

One theme that has come up this week is letting go of control, handing over responsibility and trusting someone else to step up… maybe not do it the way I would do it or like it done… but that’s ok… they have to find their way of doing it. My way isn’t the right way… it’s only one way of doing it…

Then when I do trust the other person to step up… I can let go… give myself more of what I need when I depleted… and regenerate. It’s hard to believe when I’m in the middle of an emotional storm… that the clouds will part… the sun will shine… the blue sky is still there behind the clouds. But the storm does pass, quite quickly these days… and then I wonder “how did I get myself so worked up about that?”.

It happens much less often these days… and when it does happen… I am more forgiving of myself and others… can let it go… move forward… and breathe.

From Og this month… “Can I relive the errors of yesterday and right them? Can I call back yesterday’s wounds and make them whole?”

No I can’t… “I consider all who greeted yesterday’s sunrise who are no longer with the living today.”

“This day I drink every minute to its full. I savor its taste and give thanks.

“I live this day as if it is my last”.

Really I am so fortunate and blessed to have the life that I have.